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FOR CHURCHES
For Survivors
One of you asked me to illustrate “Healing takes time. Give your pace grace.” So I did! You can buy the download and use it however you want at etsy.com/shop/marydemuthart!
When I have the privilege of speaking to an audience, I often share this sentence. Why? Because for many years I kept my story stopped up inside me. Tamping the trauma down nearly killed me.
It’s only when I began sharing my story with safe people that I began the long journey of healing. I was graced to meet empathetic praying people who cried alongside and prayed for healing.
Some may say it’s narcissistic to chase healing, but I would argue healing is the best gift you can give those you love. They need a healed you. If you can’t pursue healing for your sake, chase it for their sake.
If you’ve shared your story and were belittled, silenced, or shamed, I am so sorry. I encountered that as well. But (by God’s grace) I eventually found some people who listened, dignified, and prayed.
Keep sharing. Let your painful story out into the light. In the darkness, your trauma festers and informs your choices. In the light, the lies, the haunting, the triggers have less power.
Truly, telling your story is one of the bravest things a human being can do. Bravo, friend!
#healingfromthepast
#healingthepast
#healingthepastforabetterfuture
#healingthepast🔥
#healingthepastwiththepresent
#healingthepasttheraphy
#healingthepastforabrighterfuture
#healingthepastinthepressent
#healingthepastbybeinginthepresent
#healingthepasttrauma
On December 29th this year, Patrick and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage. I am a better human thanks to my husband’s steady, proactive love. He has helped me to finally understand more about the tangibility of God’s love for me.
We have walked through heartache and valleys. We have carried the burdens of the other. We have endured church planting on foreign soil (shout-out to all the missionary and church planting couples out there—it’s not easy.). We have laughed a lot. We have argued, believing in our rightness, yet learning to concede to the other’s rightness. We have served each other. We have lived with the consequences of our selfishness and benefited from kindhearted acts of love. We have traveled. We have far too many inside jokes to count. We are friends. And we are fun. 🙂
This picture was taken during one of the rare times we were able to teach and minister together, outside our weekly ministry of co-leading a Life Group at @lpconnect. We love to teach together—he, professorial, me, a preacher lady. I think we bring a balanced perspective.
And isn’t that a great metaphor for marriage? Two wholly different people combing their gloriously varied gifts for the sake of God’s great kingdom?
I’m finishing this little instagram story with gratitude. Humbled by God’s care. Thankful for my husband. Astounded by God’s presence in the midst of our relationship these nearly-30 years!
That time when you receive your own newsletter and the prayer for you is spot on!
#prayingformyself #prayeveryday
#howdidsheknow
Last year at this time, I recorded the #intothelight @lifewaywomen Bible study at @lpconnect. It was a joy to encourage women how to walk a healing journey—either for themselves or alongside others. In two weeks I’ll be teaching women leaders about empathy fatigue. Humbled.
I say this as a prayer nearly every time I speak for an audience. Because, ultimately, I have an audience of One.
We don’t get much of an autumn here in Texas, so I was happy to capture the tiniest hint when we walked the dog yesterday. I’m grateful for crisp days, hot cups of @twinningsteaforever Lady Grey tea, and anything made with apples. How about you? What makes autumn joyful?
I’m pretty sure this quote comes from the book I wrote entitled Worth Living. But the #laundryday sentiment remains true. 🙂
Last year I taught two weeks of writing intensives at @ywam_burtigny near Geneva, Switzerland. I typically do this every year, but 2020 said, “Non!”
My prayer is that I’ll return with @sophiedemuth, and we will have Jesus conversations with our friends there, hike in the hills, speak French, eat amazing food, and help writers grow.
I used to see my empathy as a detriment because there have been many times that in empathizing with another’s pain, it weighs my heart down and puts me in a funk. It’s hard to bear the pain of others. And as I released We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis last year, my empathy practically crushed me.
I had to take a sabbatical.
But slowly, after rest and healing, I began to want to hear stories again. I learned that I can bear a story only as much as I hand it safely over to Jesus to truly bear. We were not mean to bear the world upon ourselves. We were meant to give those burdens to the Burden Carrier.
Empathy, when employed with rest and relinquishment, can change the world. It helps others feel less alone. It reveals the love of God to others. It exemplifies Jesus who himself empathized with us all, identifying with us, then bearing every single sin and shame upon his sacred body.
If you’re battling empathy burnout, please take a break. But don’t retreat forever. The world needs your kindness. It needs your listening ear. It needs your connectivity to pain. You represent Jesus to a dying, broken world when you wield your empathy with discernment and intention.
#empathyisthenewcool #empathymatters #empathyforlife #empathyisasuperpower
I am still seeing hearts everywhere. It’s like a little love card from Jesus every single time. How does God encourage you?
A little over three years ago, my 365 devotional, Jesus Every Day, released. In January 2018, I attended my yearly Mastermind retreat, asking what would be a unique way to get the word out for the devotional where I basically prayed people through the Bible in one year. My friend @ThomasUmstattd suggested a daily podcast using the same format.
Read the Bible. Pray.
Initially the idea of doing a daily podcast intimidated me. I was afraid I didn’t have it in me to do something like that. I did know, though, that I adored the Word of God, and I loved praying for others.
On February 1, 2018, PrayEveryDay.show began. The format has not changed since then. I read a portion of Scripture, then I pray based on the themes of that Scripture for you and for the world. Currently we are reading as a community through the book of Genesis. Today: Genesis 26.
Thanks to Thomas, the masterminds who encouraged the podcast, William the engineer, and @Christenkrumm who does social media heavy lifting. Thanks to the patrons on @Patreon who support this effort monthly. And, of course, thanks to Jesus who has sustained this daily prayer ministry.
Pray Every Day has been downloaded 1.3 million times, not including @Amazon Alexa downloads that comprise most of my audience. We’ve reached over 150 countries, the heartbeat of what this former missionary girl wanted to accomplish—pray for the world.
Friends, I’m speechless, grateful, humbled, and I feel so privileged to have prayed for you daily, 1000 times. Would you pray the Lord would continue to place this podcast in the earbuds of those who need to know they’re being prayed for? I fear there are people in this world who believe zero people are praying for them. If you know someone like that, would you send them this podcast? (prayeveryday.show).
My longing is that no one would feel alone, as if their struggles were unique, and that they have to face this daunting world, a painful past, and current stress by themselves. Pray Every Day is one way to alleviate that isolation.
Let’s celebrate today with prayer. If you DM me your request, I’ll pray for you. You are not alone. You’re being prayed for.
Bible + Prayer. It’s that simple
They say that neglect is one of the hardest things to recover from because it means you’ve been unacknowledged, unrecognized, unseen.
So my adult life has been a story of compensating for that early neglect—a longing to be seen.
In high school, a wise counselor pulled me aside and said, “You are Mary of many talents.” He went on to explain that I had been gifted in a few areas, but because I was so busy trying to be noticed, I had failed to notice others.
His words shook me. I realized that I needed healing in this need-to-be-noticed issue.
So now what I do is try to use my past pain as empathy for others—to realize that my need to be noticed is also in others as well. I gain far more joy in recognizing another than I do in being recognized.
So if you compliment me, and I don’t respond effusively, it may be because of this. I’m almost afraid to accept praise because I’m trying to compensate for my earlier neediness. I hope this makes sense?
As to other introductory information:
*I used to hate beets. Now I love them.
*I can only wear @Asics running shoes. No other shoe fits.
*I have struggled with insomnia most of my adult life.
*My first car was a 1970 puke green and black Ford Mustang with a 302 V-8
*I don’t like raw fish or meat (no raw sushi, no steak tartare).
*I speak passable French, but I need to get better.
*I know how to sew. Both grandmas taught me.
*I should learn to play chess, but I’m pretty sure this non-strategic girl would do poorly at it.
*I am not into purses or shoes or makeup.
*I can’t seem to grow watermelons.
How about you? Any points of connection between us? Share below!
#mondayintroductions #beetsbearsbattlestargalactica #youareloved❤️ #youarenoticed
I read this today and it stopped me. Oh to be like this, to hang on every word Jesus said! And oh to live out his radical words with one another.
As I’m reading the gospel of Luke, I find myself newly captivated by his stories, rebukes, and teachings. Jesus was truly a beautifully unique, unexpected Savior. He didn’t fit into the mold of what Israel thought he should be. Nor did he seem to care that they wanted someone different.
This reminds me that as followers of Christ, those who hang on his every word, we are to embrace the way God has made us. We are not to be afraid to be mold-breakers, to be beautifully unique representations of him on this earth.
There’s a lot of division in the church right now, arguing about politics and votes, but I wonder if our differing opinions simply highlight that God has made each of us unique, and we need differing perspectives to teach us what love is. I have friends on both sides of current issues. They are all made in the image of Christ, and I am grateful for that.
True unity is not uniformity, but being united in our pursuit to hang on every word Jesus spoke. We may walk away with differing ideas of how to implement Jesus’s words, but that should not negate our love for one another.
When Jesus hung on the cross, he understood this. Instead of calling down heaven to smite those gambling for his clothes, he said, “Father forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.” He offered grace for where they were and what they chose to do. Mercy wept from him as blood spilled out.
Oh to be like that! Oh to forgive my political “enemies” in like fashion. Oh to assume the best about another and err on the side of grace rather than jumping to conclusions making someone an enemy. After all, 100% of us were enemies of God at one point or another. We had to come to the place where our hearts were startled awake by the words of Jesus. Let’s continue to live out his legacy with humility, respect, and winsome love.
#christianliving
#jesusislife
#thankfulness
#christiancommunity
#journalingbiblecommunity
#seekgod
#godlyquotes
#godismyrock
#seekhim
#godstiming
#lovelikejesus
“That was so long ago. You should be over it by now.”
“Don’t you believe that Jesus makes everything new?”
“Revisiting your pain, or triggering afterward, mean you haven’t trusted God for your healing.”
“So and so got over their trauma quickly. Why can’t you?”
“Just don’t think that way.”
These are comments survivors of traumatic experiences hear. (I’ve heard a few of them myself). It’s a myth that the healing journey is instantaneous. If you were harmed, it takes a long time to undo the damage. Be kind to yourself. It’s okay to heal slowly.
You don’t have to heal on someone else’s timeline, for their comfort and convenience. Healing happens in spurts sometimes, but often it’s just a long haul of uncovering lies, grieving the past, and putting the next foot in front of the other. It’s a slog. It feels like you’re walking through muck.
If someone is pushing you to heal right now, it’s okay to step back. You have permission to heal in your own way. How audacious to think that every human being is the exact same! Our Creator made us all gloriously different, and He tailor-makes our healing journeys to fit us. So there’s no need to compare. There’s no need to feel bad if your healing journey looks different from another’s.
Take a deep breath, friend. Rest. Give yourself the grace you so freely offer others. This journey is long, and it’s better if you take the next step with kindness toward yourself as your foundation. Shame only truncates your healing journey.
#recoveryfromtrauma
#betrayaltraumarecovery
#traumarecoveryfocused
#childhoodtraumarecovery
#traumaandrecovery
#traumarecoveryservices
#complextraumarecovery
#traumarecoverytreatment
This is home, the place of peace, comfort, and dreams come true. I can honestly say that with God’s great help, my home is a haven.
What is home for you? Have you found it? What makes your home truly you?
As we go into this weekend, take a little inventory of your feelings. How are you doing? What breakthrough are you praying for? What burdens your heart?
If you DM me, I’ll pray for you.
I love that Jesus asks this question of the blind beggar. In fact, we can gain a lot of personal insight into the state of our souls if we look at Jesus’s questions and reply to them ourselves.
What do you want Jesus to do for you? For years, my cry was, “Please heal me, Jesus.” Although I am still in the process of healing, what I want now is significance in kingdom work. I need the strength of Jesus to serve you.
I am in a new place—a place of wanting to play a helper role in your healing journey. That’s why I rebranded my website to #restory. Jesus has restoried me so much so that I now have the privilege of being a part of your restorying process.
How do you answer Jesus’s question today? And how does your answer to that question reveal your growth?
#jesushealsyou
#jesushealstoday
#jesushealsthebrokenhearted
#jesushealsme
#jesushealsthebroken
#jesuschristheals
#jesushealsbrokenhearts
#jesuslovesyouandme
#jesuslovesyoumorethanyouknow
#jesuslovesyou🙏
#jesuslovesyouall
#jesuslovesyou💕
#jesuslovesyoutoo
#jesuslovesyouandsodoi
#jesuslovesyou❤️
#jesuslovesyouthemost
#jesuslovesyouguys
#jesuslovesyoumore
A joyful photo essay of my back yard. Oh how I love flowers!
I’m grateful this is true. How about you?
