read what people are saying

Diane Langberg, PHD

Psychologist, Author of Suffering and the Heart of God and On the Threshold of Hope

“I am grateful for Mary’s life and her voice. We in the body of Christ need her. Her voice, along with many others, is the voice of our God calling his people into the light of truth and grace; to comfort the brokenhearted and release the captives. Read this book. Let it get inside you. Let it change you.”

Antwuan Malone

Pastor and Executive Director of ELEVATE YA

“Mary invites everyone to the table with We Too—an honest, vulnerable, grounded, and biblical addition to the conversation of broken sexuality in the church and society. It’s an authentic conversation about where we’ve been, the challenges we face today, and the hope of healing waiting in our tomorrow. Hers is a brave, open, and necessary addition to the conversation of sexual wholeness in God’s church.”

Boz tchividjian

Attorney, law professor, founder and executive director of GRACE, Godly Response to Abuse in Christian Environments

“Too many of our faith communities are not safe places for children and vulnerable people, and they are not safe spaces for the wounded. As a survivor, respected advocate, and prolific writer who loves Jesus and His bride, my dear friend Mary shares why and how to begin the journey of transforming the Church into a community that protects the vulnerable and loves the wounded. This book is an invaluable resource that is so needed by today’s Church. Bravo, Mary!”

Vonda Dyer

CCO Minerva Consulting, Worship Leader, Survivor, Advocate

“This book is a balm to the soul and a resource for the church at large. It is intelligently and discerningly written and initiates a healthy conversation over real and pertinent issues surrounding abuse within the church. #metoo”

Dan B. Allender PHD

Author of The Wounded Heart and Healing the Wounded Heart, Founding President of the Seattle School of Theology & Psychology

We Too is a remarkable and compelling book. Mary DeMuth prophetically calls the church to enter the silence and denial surrounding sexual abuse that has inflicted the body of Christ like a deadly virus. Victims of abuse, their family and friends, and those who shepherd the flock of God will find immense hope and clarity in how we are to find healing for individuals and a restoration of integrity for the church. There could not be a more perfect book for this time.

Dr. Sandra Glahn

Professor, Dallas Theological Seminary and Coauthor of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

“In We Too, author Mary DeMuth is at her best. She speaks with the credibility of a survivor and as a well-informed expert. Her book helps readers assure that both their interpersonal relationships and faith communities are places of human flourishing. The church has been needing this resource.”

Rev. Dr. Michael F. Bird

Academic Dean at Ridley College in Melbourne, Australia

“Mary DeMuth has written a courageous book about sexual abuse. She rightly calls out churches for their complicity and complete failure to deal with the scourge of sexual violence. She also provides practical advice on what can be done and points to a greater future still to come. This book is necessary reading for anyone in Christian leadership.”

jen pollock michel

Author of Surprised by Paradox

We Too is an essential guide to understanding the life-altering trauma of sexual violence. Grounded in biblical truth, sociological research, and survivor stories, this comprehensive book will help readers wisely navigate the complex relationship between grace and truth, justice and forgiveness. Although I grieve that such a book is necessary, I thank God that Mary DeMuth has written it.”

Glenn R. Kreider

Professor of Theological Studies, Dallas Theological Seminary

“The church must do better when it comes to victims of abuse. This call comes not from a critic or a cynic but a lover of the church, an active member of a community of faith. Mary DeMuth’s book does not merely point out the problems but also explains practical steps for the way forward. If it follows Mary’s advice, the church will become a place of healing for the wounded and abused.”

Leslie Vernick

Counselor, Speaker, and Bestselling Author

“For too long the Church has valued its reputation and the reputation of the accused over the safety and healing of the victim. DeMuth wisely shepherds the Church toward a true biblical narrative demonstrating God’s care and his justice for the oppressed. We Too is a must read for every pastor, ministry leader, and Christian counselor.”

Wade Mullen

Director, Master of Divinity Program, Capital Seminary & Graduate School

“I’m grateful to God that Mary DeMuth’s journey, resilience, compassion, wisdom, and leadership have been shared in these words—words clearly written with a deep love for the hurting and with an undying hope for the Church. We Too is a significant contribution to a Church and society in need of healing, change, and a safer future.”

Susan Seay

Author, Speaker, and Host for the Mentor 4 Moms Podcast

“Instead of hearing voices of comfort and support, most abuse survivors experience silence, even from the church. Women around the world deserve to be believed, and the church not only has a great opportunity, but a responsibility to respond.”

Eric Schumacher

Pastor, Author, and Songwriter

“Mary DeMuth’s We Too is a timely gift to the church. With compassion and vulnerability, she opens a door into the heart, mind, and soul of sexual abuse survivors. With expertise and clarity, she instructs us in responding to sexual abuse and loving survivors. If every church leader and member took this book to heart, the church would be a safe and healthier place.”

Brad Hambrick

Pastor of Counseling at The Summit Church

“Pastors, one of the most important and healing thing we can do for survivors is listen. Mary has given us an excellent opportunity to begin listening in a form we are familiar with—reading a book. If we read biographies of other great saints (and we should), then let us read biographies of those who have faced one the great tragedies of our day—sexual abuse—and maintained a great love for God, the gospel, and the church. Allow reading Mary’s book to be a first step toward listening well to survivors in your church who need you to be the ears of Christ.”

Rebecca Carrell

Speaker, Radio Personality, Author of Holy Hiking Boots

“Mary DeMuth speaks a powerful and prophetic word that is timely and necessary. She courageously and vulnerably shares her experiences and shows her scars in a way that will embolden many others to do the same. We Too should be required reading for every pastor, church leader, and lay minister.”

Wade Burleson

Author, Historian, Pastor

“Mary DeMuth’s gripping and transparent narrative of her own sexual abuse jolts the reader’s emotions and ignites the Christian’s mind. After reading DeMuth’s book, you’ll be convinced that we too must never again be silent in the face of abuse.”

Kim Jones

Director of Engagement, My Refuge Home

“Mary DeMuth has a message that the church needs to hear. We Too is a transparent, thoughtful, raw, and honest account of a problem in the church that no one wants to talk about. But we must. We Too deserves to be widely read by women and men, leaders and laity. Don’t miss it.”

Aaron Graham

Lead Pastor, The District Church

“In We Too, Mary DeMuth offers a prophetic and winsome call to the church to not repeat the mistakes of the past. She courageously shares her own story and writes as someone who loves the church and is committed to its redemptive mission. We must do better as a church, and Mary helps point the way forward. A must read!”

Brian Haynes

Author and Lead Pastor, Bay Area Church (League City, TX)

“Mary DeMuth’s personal story, astute theological applications, and trauma awareness bring clarity to the passivity of the church towards countless men and women bearing the scars of sexual abuse. We Too is painfully necessary and yet filled with the hope of restoration for each person, family, and church affected by sexual abuse.”

Ruth Thorogood

Evangelical Fellowship of Canada Partner

“Mary DeMuth brings wisdom to a difficult topic. She addresses the challenges faced by all the groups that can be impacted by a single act of abuse, while offering insightful yet simple recommendations to ensure things are handled appropriately.”

Bob Rognlien

Author of A Jesus-Shaped Life

“Carefully weaving the teachings of Scripture with her own story and the stories of others who have suffered sexual abuse, Mary DeMuth delivers a powerful wake-up call to the church she loves. Filled with biblical wisdom, factual evidence, and practical principles, We Too is an indispensable resource for anyone who cares about those who have been broken by sexual sin.”

Terri Fullerton

Writer

“We Too is a prophetic call to embody Christ’s healing, love, and justice for those oppressed by the powerful. It will take strength to walk humbly and courage to look at the mess. We can let go of the 30-second conversion narratives and instead sit with those bleeding in our pews. We can be the Good Samaritans again. Mary DeMuth boldly shows us the way.” 

What Does the Bible Say About Women? An Interview with Dr. Sandra Glahn

I'm so grateful to have Dr. Sandra Glahn with us today. She's one of the editors of Sanctified Sexuality, an important book for the church. She agreed to answer some of my questions, and I'm so grateful! What does the Bible say about a woman's worth after she’s experienced sexual exploitation and/or violence? The Bible says absolutely nothing about a woman’s worth after she has experienced sexual exploitation and/or violence, precisely because there is no change whatsoever in her worth after...

Need healing from trauma? Try poetry.

My new friend Linda who is in one of my writer masterminds writes so poignantly about her past abuse. With her permission, I'm posting these pieces to inspire you to give voice to your past. For whatever reason, I, too, do better writing in stanzas than paragraphs when it comes to my healing. Scroll down to the bottom of this post to find out how you can download Linda's free guided poetry journal. Poetry for Healing By Linda L. Kruschke Sweet Scent of Rain The wafting scent of petrichor Will...

Poetry for the Broken

Sabrina gave me permission to share her work. I pray her words bring you healing. Innocence Lost Where did that innocent little girl go? The one with the pigtails, Playing jump rope.   Do you see her smile? Her carefree laughter, Her hair swaying In the breeze.   She’s swinging her legs Letting the sun caress her face.  She laughs before she jumps  To join her friends and join the race.   One night changed everything  She is carefree no more  She’s curled up on her bed  Trying hard to...

What do you do when your spouse has been abused?

I've received permission to share this email and my response. I've changed his name to protect his identity. I would be dishonest if I wrote that it has been easy on our marriage, my past sexual abuse. We walked into marriage with full disclosure, but we both felt fairly cavalier about it. After all, God had "healed" me, right? Yes, and no. He had begun the process, but it would take many years to walk the healing journey, and I am still walking it. For the first few years, we simply didn't...

It’s time for rest

This blog post I'm writing is a task I've been thinking about for a long time, particularly after the release of We Too. I've hinted at the strain of this year, and I've asked for prayer. But now it's time to actually do something about my level of fatigue and health issues. Stress is real, friends, and it messes with your body and mind and soul! Sabbatical January through March I wish I could say I perfectly navigate it, but, like you, I am imperfect at these things. Sometimes you just need...

One of you asked me to illustrate “Healing takes time. Give your pace grace.” So I did! You can buy the download and use it however you want at etsy.com/shop/marydemuthart! ...

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When I have the privilege of speaking to an audience, I often share this sentence. Why? Because for many years I kept my story stopped up inside me. Tamping the trauma down nearly killed me.

It’s only when I began sharing my story with safe people that I began the long journey of healing. I was graced to meet empathetic praying people who cried alongside and prayed for healing.

Some may say it’s narcissistic to chase healing, but I would argue healing is the best gift you can give those you love. They need a healed you. If you can’t pursue healing for your sake, chase it for their sake.

If you’ve shared your story and were belittled, silenced, or shamed, I am so sorry. I encountered that as well. But (by God’s grace) I eventually found some people who listened, dignified, and prayed.

Keep sharing. Let your painful story out into the light. In the darkness, your trauma festers and informs your choices. In the light, the lies, the haunting, the triggers have less power.

Truly, telling your story is one of the bravest things a human being can do. Bravo, friend!

#healingfromthepast
#healingthepast
#healingthepastforabetterfuture
#healingthepast🔥
#healingthepastwiththepresent
#healingthepasttheraphy
#healingthepastforabrighterfuture
#healingthepastinthepressent
#healingthepastbybeinginthepresent
#healingthepasttrauma
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On December 29th this year, Patrick and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage. I am a better human thanks to my husband’s steady, proactive love. He has helped me to finally understand more about the tangibility of God’s love for me.

We have walked through heartache and valleys. We have carried the burdens of the other. We have endured church planting on foreign soil (shout-out to all the missionary and church planting couples out there—it’s not easy.). We have laughed a lot. We have argued, believing in our rightness, yet learning to concede to the other’s rightness. We have served each other. We have lived with the consequences of our selfishness and benefited from kindhearted acts of love. We have traveled. We have far too many inside jokes to count. We are friends. And we are fun. 🙂

This picture was taken during one of the rare times we were able to teach and minister together, outside our weekly ministry of co-leading a Life Group at @lpconnect. We love to teach together—he, professorial, me, a preacher lady. I think we bring a balanced perspective.

And isn’t that a great metaphor for marriage? Two wholly different people combing their gloriously varied gifts for the sake of God’s great kingdom?

I’m finishing this little instagram story with gratitude. Humbled by God’s care. Thankful for my husband. Astounded by God’s presence in the midst of our relationship these nearly-30 years!
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That time when you receive your own newsletter and the prayer for you is spot on!

#prayingformyself #prayeveryday
#howdidsheknow
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Last year at this time, I recorded the #intothelight @lifewaywomen Bible study at @lpconnect. It was a joy to encourage women how to walk a healing journey—either for themselves or alongside others. In two weeks I’ll be teaching women leaders about empathy fatigue. Humbled. ...

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I say this as a prayer nearly every time I speak for an audience. Because, ultimately, I have an audience of One. ...

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We don’t get much of an autumn here in Texas, so I was happy to capture the tiniest hint when we walked the dog yesterday. I’m grateful for crisp days, hot cups of @twinningsteaforever Lady Grey tea, and anything made with apples. How about you? What makes autumn joyful? ...

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I’m pretty sure this quote comes from the book I wrote entitled Worth Living. But the #laundryday sentiment remains true. 🙂 ...

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Last year I taught two weeks of writing intensives at @ywam_burtigny near Geneva, Switzerland. I typically do this every year, but 2020 said, “Non!”

My prayer is that I’ll return with @sophiedemuth, and we will have Jesus conversations with our friends there, hike in the hills, speak French, eat amazing food, and help writers grow.
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I used to see my empathy as a detriment because there have been many times that in empathizing with another’s pain, it weighs my heart down and puts me in a funk. It’s hard to bear the pain of others. And as I released We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis last year, my empathy practically crushed me.

I had to take a sabbatical.

But slowly, after rest and healing, I began to want to hear stories again. I learned that I can bear a story only as much as I hand it safely over to Jesus to truly bear. We were not mean to bear the world upon ourselves. We were meant to give those burdens to the Burden Carrier.

Empathy, when employed with rest and relinquishment, can change the world. It helps others feel less alone. It reveals the love of God to others. It exemplifies Jesus who himself empathized with us all, identifying with us, then bearing every single sin and shame upon his sacred body.

If you’re battling empathy burnout, please take a break. But don’t retreat forever. The world needs your kindness. It needs your listening ear. It needs your connectivity to pain. You represent Jesus to a dying, broken world when you wield your empathy with discernment and intention.

#empathyisthenewcool #empathymatters #empathyforlife #empathyisasuperpower
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I am still seeing hearts everywhere. It’s like a little love card from Jesus every single time. How does God encourage you? ...

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A little over three years ago, my 365 devotional, Jesus Every Day, released. In January 2018, I attended my yearly Mastermind retreat, asking what would be a unique way to get the word out for the devotional where I basically prayed people through the Bible in one year. My friend @ThomasUmstattd suggested a daily podcast using the same format.

Read the Bible. Pray.

Initially the idea of doing a daily podcast intimidated me. I was afraid I didn’t have it in me to do something like that. I did know, though, that I adored the Word of God, and I loved praying for others.

On February 1, 2018, PrayEveryDay.show began. The format has not changed since then. I read a portion of Scripture, then I pray based on the themes of that Scripture for you and for the world. Currently we are reading as a community through the book of Genesis. Today: Genesis 26.

Thanks to Thomas, the masterminds who encouraged the podcast, William the engineer, and @Christenkrumm who does social media heavy lifting. Thanks to the patrons on @Patreon who support this effort monthly. And, of course, thanks to Jesus who has sustained this daily prayer ministry.

Pray Every Day has been downloaded 1.3 million times, not including @Amazon Alexa downloads that comprise most of my audience. We’ve reached over 150 countries, the heartbeat of what this former missionary girl wanted to accomplish—pray for the world.

Friends, I’m speechless, grateful, humbled, and I feel so privileged to have prayed for you daily, 1000 times. Would you pray the Lord would continue to place this podcast in the earbuds of those who need to know they’re being prayed for? I fear there are people in this world who believe zero people are praying for them. If you know someone like that, would you send them this podcast? (prayeveryday.show).

My longing is that no one would feel alone, as if their struggles were unique, and that they have to face this daunting world, a painful past, and current stress by themselves. Pray Every Day is one way to alleviate that isolation.

Let’s celebrate today with prayer. If you DM me your request, I’ll pray for you. You are not alone. You’re being prayed for.

Bible + Prayer. It’s that simple
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They say that neglect is one of the hardest things to recover from because it means you’ve been unacknowledged, unrecognized, unseen.

So my adult life has been a story of compensating for that early neglect—a longing to be seen.

In high school, a wise counselor pulled me aside and said, “You are Mary of many talents.” He went on to explain that I had been gifted in a few areas, but because I was so busy trying to be noticed, I had failed to notice others.

His words shook me. I realized that I needed healing in this need-to-be-noticed issue.

So now what I do is try to use my past pain as empathy for others—to realize that my need to be noticed is also in others as well. I gain far more joy in recognizing another than I do in being recognized.

So if you compliment me, and I don’t respond effusively, it may be because of this. I’m almost afraid to accept praise because I’m trying to compensate for my earlier neediness. I hope this makes sense?

As to other introductory information:

*I used to hate beets. Now I love them.

*I can only wear @Asics running shoes. No other shoe fits.

*I have struggled with insomnia most of my adult life.

*My first car was a 1970 puke green and black Ford Mustang with a 302 V-8

*I don’t like raw fish or meat (no raw sushi, no steak tartare).

*I speak passable French, but I need to get better.

*I know how to sew. Both grandmas taught me.

*I should learn to play chess, but I’m pretty sure this non-strategic girl would do poorly at it.

*I am not into purses or shoes or makeup.

*I can’t seem to grow watermelons.

How about you? Any points of connection between us? Share below!

#mondayintroductions #beetsbearsbattlestargalactica #youareloved❤️ #youarenoticed
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I read this today and it stopped me. Oh to be like this, to hang on every word Jesus said! And oh to live out his radical words with one another.

As I’m reading the gospel of Luke, I find myself newly captivated by his stories, rebukes, and teachings. Jesus was truly a beautifully unique, unexpected Savior. He didn’t fit into the mold of what Israel thought he should be. Nor did he seem to care that they wanted someone different.

This reminds me that as followers of Christ, those who hang on his every word, we are to embrace the way God has made us. We are not to be afraid to be mold-breakers, to be beautifully unique representations of him on this earth.

There’s a lot of division in the church right now, arguing about politics and votes, but I wonder if our differing opinions simply highlight that God has made each of us unique, and we need differing perspectives to teach us what love is. I have friends on both sides of current issues. They are all made in the image of Christ, and I am grateful for that.

True unity is not uniformity, but being united in our pursuit to hang on every word Jesus spoke. We may walk away with differing ideas of how to implement Jesus’s words, but that should not negate our love for one another.

When Jesus hung on the cross, he understood this. Instead of calling down heaven to smite those gambling for his clothes, he said, “Father forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.” He offered grace for where they were and what they chose to do. Mercy wept from him as blood spilled out.

Oh to be like that! Oh to forgive my political “enemies” in like fashion. Oh to assume the best about another and err on the side of grace rather than jumping to conclusions making someone an enemy. After all, 100% of us were enemies of God at one point or another. We had to come to the place where our hearts were startled awake by the words of Jesus. Let’s continue to live out his legacy with humility, respect, and winsome love.

#christianliving
#jesusislife
#thankfulness
#christiancommunity
#journalingbiblecommunity
#seekgod
#godlyquotes
#godismyrock
#seekhim
#godstiming
#lovelikejesus
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“That was so long ago. You should be over it by now.”

“Don’t you believe that Jesus makes everything new?”

“Revisiting your pain, or triggering afterward, mean you haven’t trusted God for your healing.”

“So and so got over their trauma quickly. Why can’t you?”

“Just don’t think that way.”

These are comments survivors of traumatic experiences hear. (I’ve heard a few of them myself). It’s a myth that the healing journey is instantaneous. If you were harmed, it takes a long time to undo the damage. Be kind to yourself. It’s okay to heal slowly.

You don’t have to heal on someone else’s timeline, for their comfort and convenience. Healing happens in spurts sometimes, but often it’s just a long haul of uncovering lies, grieving the past, and putting the next foot in front of the other. It’s a slog. It feels like you’re walking through muck.

If someone is pushing you to heal right now, it’s okay to step back. You have permission to heal in your own way. How audacious to think that every human being is the exact same! Our Creator made us all gloriously different, and He tailor-makes our healing journeys to fit us. So there’s no need to compare. There’s no need to feel bad if your healing journey looks different from another’s.

Take a deep breath, friend. Rest. Give yourself the grace you so freely offer others. This journey is long, and it’s better if you take the next step with kindness toward yourself as your foundation. Shame only truncates your healing journey.

#recoveryfromtrauma
#betrayaltraumarecovery
#traumarecoveryfocused
#childhoodtraumarecovery
#traumaandrecovery
#traumarecoveryservices
#complextraumarecovery
#traumarecoverytreatment
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This is home, the place of peace, comfort, and dreams come true. I can honestly say that with God’s great help, my home is a haven.

What is home for you? Have you found it? What makes your home truly you?
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As we go into this weekend, take a little inventory of your feelings. How are you doing? What breakthrough are you praying for? What burdens your heart?

If you DM me, I’ll pray for you.
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I love that Jesus asks this question of the blind beggar. In fact, we can gain a lot of personal insight into the state of our souls if we look at Jesus’s questions and reply to them ourselves.

What do you want Jesus to do for you? For years, my cry was, “Please heal me, Jesus.” Although I am still in the process of healing, what I want now is significance in kingdom work. I need the strength of Jesus to serve you.

I am in a new place—a place of wanting to play a helper role in your healing journey. That’s why I rebranded my website to #restory. Jesus has restoried me so much so that I now have the privilege of being a part of your restorying process.

How do you answer Jesus’s question today? And how does your answer to that question reveal your growth?

#jesushealsyou
#jesushealstoday
#jesushealsthebrokenhearted
#jesushealsme
#jesushealsthebroken
#jesuschristheals
#jesushealsbrokenhearts
#jesuslovesyouandme
#jesuslovesyoumorethanyouknow
#jesuslovesyou🙏
#jesuslovesyouall
#jesuslovesyou💕
#jesuslovesyoutoo
#jesuslovesyouandsodoi
#jesuslovesyou❤️
#jesuslovesyouthemost
#jesuslovesyouguys
#jesuslovesyoumore
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I’m grateful this is true. How about you? ...

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