read what people are saying

Diane Langberg, PHD

Psychologist, Author of Suffering and the Heart of God and On the Threshold of Hope

“I am grateful for Mary’s life and her voice. We in the body of Christ need her. Her voice, along with many others, is the voice of our God calling his people into the light of truth and grace; to comfort the brokenhearted and release the captives. Read this book. Let it get inside you. Let it change you.”

Antwuan Malone

Pastor and Executive Director of ELEVATE YA

“Mary invites everyone to the table with We Too—an honest, vulnerable, grounded, and biblical addition to the conversation of broken sexuality in the church and society. It’s an authentic conversation about where we’ve been, the challenges we face today, and the hope of healing waiting in our tomorrow. Hers is a brave, open, and necessary addition to the conversation of sexual wholeness in God’s church.”

Boz tchividjian

Attorney, law professor, founder and executive director of GRACE, Godly Response to Abuse in Christian Environments

“Too many of our faith communities are not safe places for children and vulnerable people, and they are not safe spaces for the wounded. As a survivor, respected advocate, and prolific writer who loves Jesus and His bride, my dear friend Mary shares why and how to begin the journey of transforming the Church into a community that protects the vulnerable and loves the wounded. This book is an invaluable resource that is so needed by today’s Church. Bravo, Mary!”

Vonda Dyer

CCO Minerva Consulting, Worship Leader, Survivor, Advocate

“This book is a balm to the soul and a resource for the church at large. It is intelligently and discerningly written and initiates a healthy conversation over real and pertinent issues surrounding abuse within the church. #metoo”

Dan B. Allender PHD

Author of The Wounded Heart and Healing the Wounded Heart, Founding President of the Seattle School of Theology & Psychology

We Too is a remarkable and compelling book. Mary DeMuth prophetically calls the church to enter the silence and denial surrounding sexual abuse that has inflicted the body of Christ like a deadly virus. Victims of abuse, their family and friends, and those who shepherd the flock of God will find immense hope and clarity in how we are to find healing for individuals and a restoration of integrity for the church. There could not be a more perfect book for this time.

Dr. Sandra Glahn

Professor, Dallas Theological Seminary and Coauthor of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

“In We Too, author Mary DeMuth is at her best. She speaks with the credibility of a survivor and as a well-informed expert. Her book helps readers assure that both their interpersonal relationships and faith communities are places of human flourishing. The church has been needing this resource.”

Rev. Dr. Michael F. Bird

Academic Dean at Ridley College in Melbourne, Australia

“Mary DeMuth has written a courageous book about sexual abuse. She rightly calls out churches for their complicity and complete failure to deal with the scourge of sexual violence. She also provides practical advice on what can be done and points to a greater future still to come. This book is necessary reading for anyone in Christian leadership.”

jen pollock michel

Author of Surprised by Paradox

We Too is an essential guide to understanding the life-altering trauma of sexual violence. Grounded in biblical truth, sociological research, and survivor stories, this comprehensive book will help readers wisely navigate the complex relationship between grace and truth, justice and forgiveness. Although I grieve that such a book is necessary, I thank God that Mary DeMuth has written it.”

Glenn R. Kreider

Professor of Theological Studies, Dallas Theological Seminary

“The church must do better when it comes to victims of abuse. This call comes not from a critic or a cynic but a lover of the church, an active member of a community of faith. Mary DeMuth’s book does not merely point out the problems but also explains practical steps for the way forward. If it follows Mary’s advice, the church will become a place of healing for the wounded and abused.”

Leslie Vernick

Counselor, Speaker, and Bestselling Author

“For too long the Church has valued its reputation and the reputation of the accused over the safety and healing of the victim. DeMuth wisely shepherds the Church toward a true biblical narrative demonstrating God’s care and his justice for the oppressed. We Too is a must read for every pastor, ministry leader, and Christian counselor.”

Wade Mullen

Director, Master of Divinity Program, Capital Seminary & Graduate School

“I’m grateful to God that Mary DeMuth’s journey, resilience, compassion, wisdom, and leadership have been shared in these words—words clearly written with a deep love for the hurting and with an undying hope for the Church. We Too is a significant contribution to a Church and society in need of healing, change, and a safer future.”

Susan Seay

Author, Speaker, and Host for the Mentor 4 Moms Podcast

“Instead of hearing voices of comfort and support, most abuse survivors experience silence, even from the church. Women around the world deserve to be believed, and the church not only has a great opportunity, but a responsibility to respond.”

Eric Schumacher

Pastor, Author, and Songwriter

“Mary DeMuth’s We Too is a timely gift to the church. With compassion and vulnerability, she opens a door into the heart, mind, and soul of sexual abuse survivors. With expertise and clarity, she instructs us in responding to sexual abuse and loving survivors. If every church leader and member took this book to heart, the church would be a safe and healthier place.”

Brad Hambrick

Pastor of Counseling at The Summit Church

“Pastors, one of the most important and healing thing we can do for survivors is listen. Mary has given us an excellent opportunity to begin listening in a form we are familiar with—reading a book. If we read biographies of other great saints (and we should), then let us read biographies of those who have faced one the great tragedies of our day—sexual abuse—and maintained a great love for God, the gospel, and the church. Allow reading Mary’s book to be a first step toward listening well to survivors in your church who need you to be the ears of Christ.”

Rebecca Carrell

Speaker, Radio Personality, Author of Holy Hiking Boots

“Mary DeMuth speaks a powerful and prophetic word that is timely and necessary. She courageously and vulnerably shares her experiences and shows her scars in a way that will embolden many others to do the same. We Too should be required reading for every pastor, church leader, and lay minister.”

Wade Burleson

Author, Historian, Pastor

“Mary DeMuth’s gripping and transparent narrative of her own sexual abuse jolts the reader’s emotions and ignites the Christian’s mind. After reading DeMuth’s book, you’ll be convinced that we too must never again be silent in the face of abuse.”

Kim Jones

Director of Engagement, My Refuge Home

“Mary DeMuth has a message that the church needs to hear. We Too is a transparent, thoughtful, raw, and honest account of a problem in the church that no one wants to talk about. But we must. We Too deserves to be widely read by women and men, leaders and laity. Don’t miss it.”

Aaron Graham

Lead Pastor, The District Church

“In We Too, Mary DeMuth offers a prophetic and winsome call to the church to not repeat the mistakes of the past. She courageously shares her own story and writes as someone who loves the church and is committed to its redemptive mission. We must do better as a church, and Mary helps point the way forward. A must read!”

Brian Haynes

Author and Lead Pastor, Bay Area Church (League City, TX)

“Mary DeMuth’s personal story, astute theological applications, and trauma awareness bring clarity to the passivity of the church towards countless men and women bearing the scars of sexual abuse. We Too is painfully necessary and yet filled with the hope of restoration for each person, family, and church affected by sexual abuse.”

Ruth Thorogood

Evangelical Fellowship of Canada Partner

“Mary DeMuth brings wisdom to a difficult topic. She addresses the challenges faced by all the groups that can be impacted by a single act of abuse, while offering insightful yet simple recommendations to ensure things are handled appropriately.”

Bob Rognlien

Author of A Jesus-Shaped Life

“Carefully weaving the teachings of Scripture with her own story and the stories of others who have suffered sexual abuse, Mary DeMuth delivers a powerful wake-up call to the church she loves. Filled with biblical wisdom, factual evidence, and practical principles, We Too is an indispensable resource for anyone who cares about those who have been broken by sexual sin.”

Terri Fullerton


“We Too is a prophetic call to embody Christ’s healing, love, and justice for those oppressed by the powerful. It will take strength to walk humbly and courage to look at the mess. We can let go of the 30-second conversion narratives and instead sit with those bleeding in our pews. We can be the Good Samaritans again. Mary DeMuth boldly shows us the way.” 

Jesus restores broken childhoods (guest post)

I'm really grateful to highlight a post I think will encourage you from Mary Anne Quinn. She graciously allowed me to reprint her poignant words here. ... Bubbles. That’s just what we need here, I thought. A friend’s husband and daughter had come over to pick up some furniture. They were expected; three-year-old Alianna was not. When she was introduced to me, she pirouetted, revealing the flair of both her skirt and her personality — definitely a bubbles kind of girl. I retrieved two bottles...

I feel used

I don't use these words lightly, nor do I write that sentence with dramatic flair. As the 2021 Southern Baptist Convention nears, I can't help but remember my time there two years ago. It was a time of anticipation, of hope, of seeing light pierce the darkness of sexual abuse. The powers that be wanted to put a spotlight on that very real issue within the church--and rightly so. The Houston Chronicle piece about numerous abusers in our midst being shuffled here and there between congregations...

Abuse in a Closed Religious Community

Note from Mary: This post is written anonymously with exceptional bravery. I pray "Elizabeth"'s story blesses you. ... When life is in shambles, and abuse is constant, the terror is at an all time high. All of a sudden the monster and creator of the horror is killed, and there is an eerie serene silence. A first you think that silence means the pain is over, but then you realize that it was just the eye of the hurricane. The silence lasts only for a very short period of time before the outside...

King David and Ravi Zacharias — an Apologetic

By now we all know about the credible allegations against the late Ravi Zacharias. These are not small issues, from soliciting and storing inappropriate photos of women, to assaulting employees of massage centers, to the very real possibility of sex trafficking across continents. At this point, nothing will surprise me, but what does shock me is this strange argument I've heard from some: "Well, he's no different than King David." In some ways this is true. In other ways, not at all. How the...

Church leadership, it’s time to talk about sexual abuse

Thanks Cheryl Bowles Summers for sharing the video below. Scroll to halfway through the video to watch an encouraging, difficult, important sermon for those who have suffered sexual abuse. For all you pastors out there afraid to address this subject from the pulpit, it can be done with nuance and compassion. Here's an example.   I'd also like to offer myself as a Sunday morning speaker about the evils of sexual abuse (one of Satan's greatest weapons against humanity). I teach it with a high...

Woke up this morning with these verses in my head from Psalm 131. My soul can get tied up in knots, wrangled by worry. My mind can easily swirl. I can be obsessive when I’m troubled by a conundrum.

But God gives me a choice.

I can choose to remember his goodness, care, and nurturing. I can reorient my swirling thoughts toward those truths.

Peace then floods in.

I am taken care of.

I am loved.

I am wanted.

I am gently rocked.

I am nursed back to healthy though patterns.

I am alive.

And I am set free.

How about you? How do you find calm from the chaos in your mind?


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From one of my favorite books, The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan. Here’s the full quote:

"Are you in the midst of a situation where, as you pray, you find yourself putting the problem first? If so, you're starting where you should end. You're rehearsing the problem, making it seem larger than it is, when what you need to do is rehearse God's greatness and bigness. Then the problem shrinks to its right portions." Mark Buchanan

Does this hit you in the heart like it does me? How can I pray for you?


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Somebody needs to read this today. ...

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Don’t run alone. Be with others. You may have been broken in toxic community, but you will be healed in safe community.

I know It’s scary to risk. Weigh it. Let the new community reveal its trustworthiness, then put a toe in the new place.

Relational wounds heal best with a relational cure.

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I reflect on this as I run, remembering how much I hate pain. I have this far off goal to run a marathon someday, but that’s not easy when you don’t like pain.

Jesus endured the cross, despite all the shame affiliated with it, despite the agonizing spiritual and physical pain it represented. He willingly went forward despite the anticipated pain. He epitomized “just do it.”

He rested, too. He walked to the rhythm of God the Father’s whispers, slowing when directed, obeying when told to.

If I stand at the beginning line of a marathon someday, I’m going to be thinking about Jesus.

I wonder if He stood in heaven prior to incarnation to this sodden earth and got tired thinking about what He would endure.

Whether it tired Him or not, He took the action He was supposed to take in submissive obedience.

If He can do such a thing, perhaps we all underestimate Jesus’ ability to help us endure, to give us joy in the mundane, to act heroically when we’d rather avoid pain.

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When you have the most amazing friends like @jkmath6 @rebeccacarrell and @sandraglahn, and they carry your burdens (literally), you smile at the day ahead. ...

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Have you taken the Strengths Finder? I have an odd mixture in my top two.

1. Achiever 

2. Empathy.

Empathy is where I get in trouble. While I love that God has made me empathetic, it does have its negatives.

Positive: I can meet someone and almost always assess their emotional state.

Negative: If someone is distraught, it’s hard for me to get beyond that. I tend to take in their pain, feel it, and then never let go.

Here’s the odd part of empathy for me. Although it endears me to folks, and folks to me, it can be isolating. And it can break my heart. Proverbs 4:23 says: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

When I get a revealing email from a stranger, I pause. For the moment, I am with the person, feeling the pain, dying inside, wishing and praying for healing. It’s hard for me to shrug the pain off. When I was a guest on A radio show once, we received three calls, all very, very hard to hear. Tales of abuse. Unmentionable pain. Broken lives.

In the aftermath of the interview, I received several emails of folks sharing their broken hearts, their fractured stories. I couldn’t shake the sadness. I kept it to myself. And I felt alone, carrying a burden way too heavy.

I need to guard my empathetic heart. (And please hear me when I say I’m not 100% empathetic. I fail in this area also). I need to throw my burdens at Jesus’ feet. And I need to learn how to cast others’ burdens there as well. Only then will my load lighten.

But even as I type this, I wonder. How must Jesus feel. He possesses the most empathy on earth and heaven. Hebrews 4:15 says, “This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.” He understands. He shoulders. He knows. He’s been here. What must it be like to be Jesus? He knows EVERY painful story of every single human being. Even the secret stories. And He graciously bears them all.

My own inability to bear the weight just makes me love Him more.


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My heart is to create meaningful paintings that illustrate the grace and freedom of God’s Word through vibrant watercolors and lettering.

Did you know I sell originals in my @etsy shop? Yep! Currently there are 35 for sale. Once they’re gone, they’re gone. They’d make a truly unique gift.

Find all of them at On the left menu, scroll down and click ORIGINALS. Happy shopping!


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“Worry weighs a person down.” Proverbs 12:25a

What a perfect verse for this time of year where nerves are frazzled, money is scarce, and relationships are stretched to the max.

I thought you might enjoy a prayer to pray over your worries today. Just say these words out loud, believing that your good God loves you and wants to take the weight of worry off your shoulders.

“I can’t. You can. Help!” Amen.

Oh how He longs to un-heavy you today, friend.

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Thank you @salembookspublishing for getting The Most Misunderstood Women of the Bible into bookstores! I still haven’t seen it on a shelf. Thanks @creativekenny for sending this my way. ...

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Thank you @sophiedemuth for showing me this vase at @anthropologie !!!

My other head vase fell and cracked (oh what a headache that shattered vase must’ve had!).

This morning I woke up sick (again). But I remembered that life is happier when I take a moment to stroll through my garden. I cut these zinnias for my new head vase, and VOILA! Happiness!

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Err on the side of intercession. Maybe that unction to judge is a nudge for you to pray instead. ...

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Happiest of birthdays to my youngest, @juliademuth24 who is one of the most tenacious and intelligent people I know. What a joy she is. Such a loyal friend, hard worker, and comedienne. I love you, Julia! ...

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New hair, new day. What did you do new today? ...

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Coveting sours joy. When I pine for what others have, I become discontent. But if I grab a pen and start listing what I’m grateful for, that sourness fades, and joy lightens my heart.

Today I am choosing gratitude because there’s so much to be thankful for. Even in the midst of a stressful week tinged with heartache, I can find much to be grateful for.

And honestly? I’m humbled that you’re here reading these words. I’m grateful for you.

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Thanks, kids, for my Mother’s Day present. 🙂 Daisy has absconded it. ...

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