I am grateful for the words of Jen Hindley today who beautifully captures what it’s like to be dismissed by church when the unthinkable happens. Her poem perfectly captures the pain many have walked through. I pray her eloquence helps you feel less alone.
Jen Hindley is a writer, poet, and spoken word artist who is passionate about sharing her story of trauma and survival, in hopes of giving other women permission to speak their own truth. She speaks 6 languages and absolutely loves connecting with people in their native tongue, a powerful way of saying “I see you, you are valuable”. After years of debilitating health issues, Jen is reclaiming her love for ultrarunning and feels there is no better place to meet Jesus than on the ups and downs of gorgeous mountain trails. She grew up in Buenos Aires, Argentina and currently lives in Atlanta, GA with her two amazing girls. (And yes, she is holding a Ziploc with a grilled cheese sandwich in the photo. Ultrarunning is the best.)
i see you by Jen Hindley
i see you
when you dare to speak
your brave truth
and it falls on deaf ears
because nobody wants to hear
the pain you’ve been through.
i see you
when it’s made
unquestionably clear
that your desperate
need to heal
simply doesn’t trump
their self-seeking desire
to not feel
uncomfortable…
i see you
i see you
screaming into the wind
of denial
words not passively
rendered quiet
but actively, deliberately
silenced,
and suddenly you’re aware
this wind isn’t
a force of nature
to adapt to
but a man-made construct
to dismantle,
a windmill subtly, yet strategically
placed squarely in front
of the weary victim’s face,
not merely to drown out
but also throw you off your feet.
It leaves you crumpled
in a devastated heap
and while they all
walk away
good samaritans
gone astray…
i see you
i see you
slowly drive away
from the very place
that so adamantly claimed
to be a haven
that was safe for the broken.
i see you
glance back
at the shrinking steeple
building full of
all the people
who refused
to tend to His dying sheep
and the ache in your chest
is so painful and deep
that try as you might
you can’t seem to breathe…
i see you…
gasping
groaning
falling
rising
whispering Truth
despite the dying
crushed
spirit within.
You
are
brave
and i see you
i see you
i see you
This poem speaks to the deepest heart cries we feel as survivors! Jennifer is as empathetic and brave a person you could hope to meet and have in your corner. So wonderful that those who gather here can experience some of her healing, poetic words.
Thank you, Alaine, for those extremely kind, encouraging words. I often feel like giving up on trying to get those in power to hear, and just focusing on helping other survivors feel seen and heard and validated. You are one of many amazing women who has made *me* feel seen, and it is life-changing. Together, we lend each other courage and press on. Stay strong, sister!
Love you, Jen! Thanks for sharing your heart. I know you have a deep passion for coming alongside those who have been wounded. ❤️
Thank you for taking the time to read this, Ruth. It truly is my heart’s desire to walk with fellow wounded warriors. So grateful to have you in my corner!
I’m so grateful for all your responses to this post. It’s beautiful to see. Thank you, again, Jen, for your heart.
Jennifer has a true passion for helping hurting women and has beautiful gifts of expression. This poem is exquisitely expressed and has touched many hearts. I look forward to
more of Jennifer’s strong works.
Thank you, Sherry, for your gracious encouragement. I´m so glad this poem spoke to you. I really do see you. Keep fighting the good fight!
It’s beautiful writting, Jen. And sad, especially the part of you needing to heal not trumping their desire to not feel uncomfortable.
Thank you, Erin. It is sad, isn´t it? Even more so because tragically, this story is not just my own. So many survivors who come to their churches for help are betrayed in this deepest of ways. Thank you for taking the time to read and seek to understand, even if this story may not be your own. It’s so incredibly healing for survivors when people who haven’t lived it, *still* make the effort to listen and empathize. So thankful to walk this path with you.
This is so huge in the midst of “hush hush”, push it off, “you’re fine”…true brothers and sisters not being willing to stand up for their “sibling”, not wanting to be uncomfortable. Thank you for sharing your honest words. Thanks for being willing to stand up and speak out.
Yes! You get it, Laura. Looking at it from this objective standpoint, it’s quite simply ludicrous that those who preach Jesus would refuse to emulate Him. Thank you for stepping into this conversation, at the risk of becoming quite uncomfortable. This means the world to survivors.
SO SO grateful for all the interaction here on this post. Jen, you have blessed me with your words.
Oh Mary, I’m just so honored that with so many beautifully-expressed words of your own (hello, author of a BOOK!), you would find value in mine. As you well know, being heard and validated in one’s pain is incredibly healing. Thank you for welcoming my voice and in so doing, extending healing and hope to my weary soul. I’m eternally grateful for your courageous spirit and voice ❤️
It is absolutely my pleasure! Thank you for your voice, Jen.
Thank you- may I share this on a page I made, Lillian’s Light?
My 4 year old was molested at Sunday school, no prosecution was brought fourth so the organization says “it didn’t happen here”
It hurts so,so badly.
It’s hard enough to wrap your mind around a God who is good and yet allowed this to happen.
Then the pastors dismiss it as if it “couldnt Have happened here” and misplace the shame and blame.
You’ll probably want to ask the author, Jen Hindley.
Oh Amberlee, my heart sinks reading this. I’m so incredibly sorry for the pain your daughter has endured, as well your own pain in walking with her through this tragedy. You may absolutely share this poem, i just ask that you credit me as the author. I pray you feel the Lord’s love and compassion, despite this betrayal from people who are not imitating the Jesus they preach.
Remembering the women’s “retreat” and being encouraged to take off our masks and reveal our true selves, yet the mean girls (aka women’s ministry leaders) firmly hid their humanity behind their beauty queen good looks. 20 years of it was enough and when the bullying by exclusion started in the youth ministry with my kids, that was it. We exited and never looked back. Our former church was recently embroiled in a very public scandal and I can’t say I was surprised. When the focus is on the external, the heart for Jesus dries up.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. How painful.